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20 Lessons of Living Through Trauma: From Both Sides of the Couch

20 Lessons of Living Through Trauma: From Both Sides of the Couch

by Rebecca Ray | Shame

As someone who has lived through trauma, I know intimately how the psyche is affected. I’ve undertaken the healing work to live well with a brain that still bears the scars of that trauma, and I accept that I still need therapeutic ‘top ups’ from time to time. I’ve...

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drrebeccaray

Intentional Business Mentor
Lovely ones, today’s the last day you can regist Lovely ones, today’s the last day you can register for my FREE 5-day Self-Talk Challenge: Reframing Self-Talk for Confidence and Courage in Business. We’ve got over 450 people registered. Please don’t miss this - the techniques I’ll teach you are the ones I use in daily life to cope with my mind’s tendency to be *very* critical! We start tomorrow. Register via the link in my profile 💕
🌟 Over 400 People Registered! 🌟 Does your s 🌟 Over 400 People Registered! 🌟 Does your self-talk lean to supportive or critical? If it’s the latter, please don’t miss my FREE 5-day self-talk challenge starting Monday. ⁣⁣𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 5-𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲: 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.⁣⁣ This 5-day challenge is the most popular resource I’ve ever created. And this year, I’m applying it to entrepreneurial mindset and I’m pretty damn excited!⁣ ⁣𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗿:⁣ If your self-talk is often far more harsh and critical than it’s empowering and encouraging, this is for you. Self-talk is the most important part of mindset and can make a crucial difference to your bottom line results, not to mention to your relationship with your business overall. ⁣⁣𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ In this Challenge, I’ll be teaching you the most powerful psychological strategies for reframing your self-talk. This is a pop-psychology free zone. We’ll be covering scientifically-proven psychological strategies to create real results. ⁣⁣𝗕𝗮𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ Each day, you’ll receive: ⁣- Downloadable audio guidance on that day’s topic. ⁣- An interactive worksheet to translate what you learn into Real. Life. Action. ⁣- An invitation to our exclusive pop-up Facebook group, where I’ll be going live every day of the challenge so that we can share an in-depth Q&A session on any roadblocks you’re facing.⁣⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀:⁣ 𝗗𝗮𝘁𝗲: Day 1 is on 25 January, 2021 AEST (Brisbane time)⁣ 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆: All your goodies will be delivered to your inbox ⁣ 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸: You don’t have to be on Facebook to get the most benefit out of the challenge. You’re welcome to send any questions you have through via email instead. ⁣⁣𝗥𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗿ofile!
🌟 Over 250 People Registered! 🌟 Does your se 🌟 Over 250 People Registered! 🌟 Does your self-talk lean to supportive or critical? If it’s the latter, please don’t miss my FREE 5-day self-talk challenge starting Monday. ⁣⁣𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 5-𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲: 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.⁣⁣ This 5-day challenge is the most popular resource I’ve ever created. And this year, I’m applying it to entrepreneurial mindset and I’m pretty damn excited!⁣ ⁣𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗿:⁣ If your self-talk is often far more harsh and critical than it’s empowering and encouraging, this is for you. Self-talk is the most important part of mindset and can make a crucial difference to your bottom line results, not to mention to your relationship with your business overall. ⁣⁣𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ In this Challenge, I’ll be teaching you the most powerful psychological strategies for reframing your self-talk. This is a pop-psychology free zone. We’ll be covering scientifically-proven psychological strategies to create real results. ⁣⁣𝗕𝗮𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ Each day, you’ll receive: ⁣- Downloadable audio guidance on that day’s topic. ⁣- An interactive worksheet to translate what you learn into Real. Life. Action. ⁣- An invitation to our exclusive pop-up Facebook group, where I’ll be going live every day of the challenge so that we can share an in-depth Q&A session on any roadblocks you’re facing.⁣⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀:⁣ 𝗗𝗮𝘁𝗲: Day 1 is on 25 January, 2021 AEST (Brisbane time)⁣ 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆: All your goodies will be delivered to your inbox ⁣ 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸: You don’t have to be on Facebook to get the most benefit out of the challenge. You’re welcome to send any questions you have through via email instead. ⁣⁣𝗥𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗿ofile!
Following on from my post on not being for everyon Following on from my post on not being for everyone, I received a stack of DMs about how this looks in practice. I’m not saying you *have* to do this, but the way I clarify who I serve (and who is best served by someone else) is to write it down. It sounds like this: ~~~ 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺: I use psychological science as the basis for my heart and hard truth approach to helping big-picture-thinking entrepreneurs (and aspiring entrepreneurs) to live a life that’s fulfilling, unapologetic, and free. This is the place to access your brain potential to see real results in your business that support your dreams becoming a reality. We’ll makeover your mindset to ensure that your business is not held back by your unconscious blocks, fears, and self-sabotage. 𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽: I’m not the person for you if you want hype and false promises about guaranteed results. The way I practice entrepreneurship focuses on ease and flow rather than hustle and grind. While my books are directed at a more general audience, my digital offerings and programs are best-suited to womxn entrepreneurs who are out to take control of their lives via packaging their own skills and knowledge to sell online. I’m not a one-stop shop for all psychological problems and their associated treatments. I apply my knowledge, skills, and experience as a psychologist to business mindset and personal growth. I don’t cover relationship problems, or specific mental illness, or neurodivergency, or parenting, or mental health for children, or any other topics outside of business mindset and personal growth. ~~~ How have you gotten clarity around who your audience is? I promise that when you do, it’s the biggest favour you can do for yourself and your clients/customers (and those who aren’t meant to be served by you) 😌
It’s been waaaaaayyy too long since I did this. It’s been waaaaaayyy too long since I did this. Exactly a year, to be precise. ⁣I meant to run it a few times last year, but … well … 2020. I lost my groove and my energy and my planning capabilities and all the other things I need to do a challenge like this. Ah well, registration as a psychologist didn’t make me any less human 😂⁣⁣ I seem to have my faculties back for 2021 (well, most of them!), and we’re running it again this month!⁣ ⁣⁣𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 5-𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲: 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.⁣⁣ This 5-day challenge is the most popular resource I’ve ever created. And this year, I’m applying it to entrepreneurial mindset and I’m pretty damn excited!⁣ ⁣𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗿:⁣ If your self-talk is often far more harsh and critical than it’s empowering and encouraging, this is for you. Self-talk is the most important part of mindset and can make a crucial difference to your bottom line results, not to mention to your relationship with your business overall. ⁣⁣𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ In this Challenge, I’ll be teaching you the most powerful psychological strategies for reframing your self-talk. This is a pop-psychology free zone. We’ll be covering scientifically-proven psychological strategies to create real results. ⁣⁣𝗕𝗮𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ Each day, you’ll receive: ⁣- Downloadable audio guidance on that day’s topic. ⁣- An interactive worksheet to translate what you learn into Real. Life. Action. ⁣- An invitation to our exclusive pop-up Facebook group, where I’ll be going live every day of the challenge so that we can share an in-depth Q&A session on any roadblocks you’re facing.⁣⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀:⁣ 𝗗𝗮𝘁𝗲: Day 1 is on 25 January, 2021 AEST (Brisbane time)⁣ 𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆: All your goodies will be delivered to your inbox ⁣ 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸: You don’t have to be on Facebook to get the most benefit out of the challenge. You’re welcome to send any questions you have through via email instead. ⁣⁣𝗥𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗿ofile!
One of the biggest mistakes I initially made in on One of the biggest mistakes I initially made in online business was buying into the belief that my work is designed to help everyone, and then trying to reach ‘everyone’ in how I packaged and marketed my knowledge. Doing so was a recipe for failure. It affected my ability to clearly define my message. It affected my capacity to write in a ‘voice’ that resonated deeply. It stopped you from getting to know me. It stopped you from being able to distinguish who I was here to serve. It confused my branding. It confused my content planning and creating. It wasted much of my marketing budget (not to mention my time and energy). I may as well have dropped a ‘gone fishing’ sign on the homepage of my website, such was the lack of focus in what I was offering to you and the world at large. I am not for everyone. My work is not for everyone. Just as you and your work are not for everyone. Like most mistakes, this one was an important teacher - perhaps the most important teacher for the value of clarity 👀 Have you made the same mistake? (Or am I the only one that makes life harder before I figure out an easier way? 😂🙈)
Lovely ones, my team and I are excited to announce Lovely ones, my team and I are excited to announce that a percentage of our profits this year will be going to Indigenous Literacy Foundation 🖤💛❤️ @indigenousliteracyfoundation and the Australian Wildlife Conservancy @australianwildlifeconservancy 🐨🦘. One of my biggest reasons for being in business in the first place is to make an impact to causes I'm passionate about. Does your business give back? I'd love to know the causes you support xo
Want to eavesdrop on intentional business mentorin Want to eavesdrop on intentional business mentoring? Now is your chance! Over the next 4 weeks, I’m releasing weekly episodes on my podcast, Hello Rebecca Ray, that feature phenomenal women entrepreneurs. In each episode, I coach them on the mindset blocks that are showing up for them in business. These episodes are a great chance for you to get a feel for what this kind of mentoring looks like and the insights and shifts that are possible. This is especially the case if you’re keen for my program Intentional Business (applications open soon!), but want to be sure it’s what you’re looking for. 💫 This 2nd episode is with @mariahalthoff_com , a talented graphic designer who educated other graphic designers on freelancing successfully 🚀 Mariah and I had a great conversation about imposter syndrome, re-evaluating ‘shoulds’ and the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves, and how to show up consistently on social media - even when you’re an introvert! 👀There’s so much value in this episode. Check it out via the link in my profile - Episode 27 (or on whatever podcast platform you prefer) 💗
If you stopped for a moment and checked in with wh If you stopped for a moment and checked in with what your mind is saying to you right now, is it: - helping you live by your values? - making you feel encouraged? - helping you stay in your own lane? If not, your self-talk might be a roadblock for your progress to towards your goals. In a week's time, I finally bringing back my most popular free resource ... 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 5-𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲: 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. ⁣⁣𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗿:⁣ If your self-talk is often far more harsh and critical than it’s empowering and encouraging, this is for you. Self-talk is the most important part of mindset and can make a crucial difference to your bottom line results, not to mention to your relationship with your business overall. ⁣⁣𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀: ⁣In this Challenge, I’ll be teaching you the most powerful psychological strategies for reframing your self-talk. This is a pop-psychology free zone. We’ll be covering scientifically-proven tools to create real results. ⁣⁣𝗕𝗮𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ Each day, you’ll receive: ⁣- Downloadable audio guidance on that day’s topic.⁣ - An interactive worksheet to translate what you learn into Real. Life. Action.⁣ - An invitation to our exclusive pop-up Facebook group, where I’ll be going live every day of the challenge so that we can share an in-depth Q&A session on any roadblocks you’re facing.⁣⁣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀: ⁣Date: Day 1 is on 25 January, 2021 AEST (Brisbane time) ⁣Delivery: All your goodies will be delivered to your inbox⁣ Facebook: You don’t have to be on Facebook to get the most benefit out of the challenge. You’re welcome to send any questions you have through via email instead.⁣ ⁣𝗥𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗲! Hope to see you there xo
A message from my book, The Art of Self-Kindness, A message from my book, The Art of Self-Kindness, for today: 'She said no because she only has so many yeses to give, and they are reserved for the things that propel her heart.' Available at all good bookstores and online retailers. Thank you for the pic, @sacredlittleladybug
Is your inner critic loud? Here are some tips to h Is your inner critic loud? Here are some tips to help you detach from the harsh voice within. And if your inner critic is responsible for dampening your success in your business (or stopping you from starting in the first place!), then I have an invitation for you. In a week's time, I finally bringing back my most popular free resource ... 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘 5-𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲: 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.⁣ ⁣𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗿:⁣ If your self-talk is often far more harsh and critical than it’s empowering and encouraging, this is for you. Self-talk is the most important part of mindset and can make a crucial difference to your bottom line results, not to mention to your relationship with your business overall. ⁣⁣𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗲𝘀:⁣ In this Challenge, I’ll be teaching you the most powerful psychological strategies for reframing your self-talk. This is a pop-psychology free zone. We’ll be covering scientifically-proven tools to create real results. ⁣⁣𝗕𝗮𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘀: ⁣Each day, you’ll receive:⁣ - Downloadable audio guidance on that day’s topic. ⁣- An interactive worksheet to translate what you learn into Real. Life. Action. ⁣- An invitation to our exclusive pop-up Facebook group, where I’ll be going live every day of the challenge so that we can share an in-depth Q&A session on any roadblocks you’re facing. ⁣⁣𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀: ⁣Date: Day 1 is on 25 January, 2021 AEST (Brisbane time) ⁣Delivery: All your goodies will be delivered to your inbox ⁣Facebook: You don’t have to be on Facebook to get the most benefit out of the challenge. You’re welcome to send any questions you have through via email instead.⁣⁣ 𝗥𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗲! Hope to see you there xo
While I'm a huge fan of goal-setting and action pl While I'm a huge fan of goal-setting and action plans, January doesn't HAVE to be oriented this way. Please remember that the global distress we continue to experience is incredibly draining - even before you add anything onto it like yearly goals. Goal setting and planning might make you feel excited, purposeful, and grounded. If that's the case, go with it! Or it could make you feel overwhelmed, uncertain, and pressured. If that's the case, not only is this completely understandable, but it's important to listen to this response. White space is essential for all of us. Please listen to your intuition because it might be asking you for a little more white space than you're offering yourself right now. You can always return to your goals. It will be okay. 💗
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