Shame Archives - Dr Rebecca Ray

20 Lessons of Living Through Trauma: From Both Sides of the Couch

20 Lessons of Living Through Trauma: From Both Sides of the Couch

by Rebecca Ray | Shame

FREE DOWNLOAD: Reminders for Revolutionary Healing As someone who has lived through trauma, I know intimately how the psyche is affected. I’ve undertaken the healing work to live well with a brain that still bears the scars of that trauma, and I accept that I still...

About me

Rebecca Ray

Longing to seek – and find! – a beautifully expansive, inspired life? You’re in the right place. I’m Dr Rebecca Ray, writer and clinical psychologist. I’m here to support you and guide you and your adventurous heart as you learn, grow and explore the possibilities of the expansive, inspired life you deserve.

Free Download ~ Manifesto for Brave Living

FREE QUIZ: Is Self-Sabotage Ruining Your Life?

Over on Instagram…

drrebeccaray

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Hands up if you’re peeling back the layers, masks, and bullshit that society has demanded you think and feel (usually about not being good enough) to finally find yourself? 🙋🏻‍♀️

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Swipe for Helpful Emotional Habits ->>
We develop unhelpful emotional habits from what’s been modelled to us, how we’ve been shaped through childhood, and by significant emotional (often traumatic) experiences. Our primary drives are to seek and maintain emotional safety, and avoid emotional discomfort. But these unhelpful habits - if left unchecked - can mean our emotions are left unprocessed. And unprocessed discomfort always finds a way out, whether we like it or not. 🌿

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The most transformational thing for re-establishing your relationship with yourself? Being mindful of your internal dialogue. May judgement, attack, and criticism give way to compassion, acceptance, and encouragement 🌿

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'If I was asked to nominate the most life-altering tool for ongoing happiness, it would be choosing to focus on gratitude. We live in a culture that constantly sends us messages of not enough, selling us on the idea that we need more to be happy – more possessions, more money, more friends, more likes on social media, more overseas holidays, more of whatever makes us feel like we are keeping up with Joneses.

You don’t need to look far to find a reason to be dissatisfied … you only need to log on for your vulnerabilities to be exposed within minutes of your first scroll. For all of the conveniences that the internet has brought us, it has also brought us countless avenues for feelings of inadequacy via comparison with others we are convinced are happier than we are.

Gratitude does the opposite. It brings us to a place of peace with what is. It allows us to revel in what we already have by not overlooking it to see something shinier in the distance. In other words, gratitude is the birthplace of enough, and enough is the birthplace of contentment.
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Let’s be real here. Everything besides breathing is easier said than done. Being in a state of “not enough” is almost automatic for most of us now. But there is another way. The way out of the dis-ease of not enough is in front of you, beside you, and, within you. The way out is right here, where you are, with what you have, and who is sitting next to you.

From my book, Be Happy: 35 Powerful Methods for Personal Growth and Well-Being, available everywhere! (Link in bio)

Thank you for the 📷@rosecoloredcourtney 💗

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Remind the parts of you that are scared that the parts of you that are brave are here, too 🌱

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@nourish_au magazine are kind enough to feature an extract of my book, The Art of Self-Kindness, in their latest issue! Grab a copy of this stunning mag if you can 😍

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Swipe ->>>
The more self-knowledge we seek, the more we can interpret our emotions accurately 🌱

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I live only minutes from areas that have been decimated by the Australian bushfires. The planet is begging us to listen. The devastation to ecosystems, loss of native animals, and impact on locals who have watched their possessions go up in flames is horrific. My heart is breaking.
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To the firies who are heroically risking themselves to protect who and what they can: THANK YOU.
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I’m going to post the links to donate in my stories. Here are the relevant pages if you can spare anything to help:
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• @redcrossau • @wireswildliferescue • @salvosau • @portmacquariekoalahospital • @wildliferescue.sunshinecoast
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This image was taken by Adam Stevenson 🙏

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Let go of pushing, forcing, striving for the unattainable.

Focused effort that's aligned with your values is one thing.

But attempting to band-aid wounds in your sense of self-worth with over-achievement, people-pleasing, and approval-seeking will constantly leave you feeling empty and disconnected from yourself.

Where you are, as you are, is enough. 🌷

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I’m just going to leave this here in case you need it 💗 please add anything else your younger self needs to hear ...

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Shoutout to my people - you know who you are 💜

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I’ve been in the mental downtime space. Allowing the external noise to fade away and concentrating on reconnecting with what’s happening within.
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That, and about 4000 loads of washing 🙋🏻‍♀️