Show Notes:

Welcome to Hello Rebecca Ray, our collective home for courage, growth and human to human connection. I’m your host, Dr. Rebecca Ray, human, clinical psychologist, author, and educator. I know only too well how fear, comparison and self-doubt can stifle your potential. This podcast is all about brave and meaningful living and how you can make your authentic contribution to the world today and everyday

Hi, lovely ones. Welcome to episode number 81 of Hello Rebecca Ray, the Podcast. Today we’re talking about patience, because someone commented on Instagram on one of my posts on Instagram about how patience was so incredibly difficult for her. And it is for me too so I wanted to share with you a section from my first book Be Happy – 35 Powerful Methods for Personal Growth and Well-Being about choosing patience. So this is all about being able to understand why patience is actually a superpower if you know how to cultivate it for the goals that you’re chasing.

The section starts off with a quote by Arnold H Glasow. He says the key to everything is patience, you get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. As someone with a bachelor’s degree in impatience, and certainly someone who should know better, I promise you I won’t get preachy. It’s just that I can’t speak about happiness unless I cover those things that I know should be the most important contributors to happiness, even when those things require a significant degree of effort for me in practice. Patience is one of them. I’m the first to raise my hand to say that I’m easily swept up in the speed of life. As I said earlier, I’m a fan of fast, I have a tendency towards deciding what I want to do or where I want to go and then wanting to be there instantaneously. On my good days, I might accept a minimum of effort before I lapse back into impatient desires to be there, or done or arrived.

So what. So, buying into the need to hustle to get happier, make your dreams come true, find love, heal pain, get to work on time, feeds into the fear system in our brains. It feeds the idea of scarcity and convinces us that there’s not enough of everything to go around. It feeds the idea that rest is only for the weak, and the urgency it creates is a trigger for surviving not thriving. When we are in survival mode, your body is flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. Hormones that clouds your creativity tangle your thoughts and convince you that you have very few options to solve the problems sitting in front of you. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work hard. I’m saying that working hard in a lifestyle that also includes rest, play, and reasonable time for the general demands of daily life will nourish your mind, heart and soul so much more than rise and grind ever will.

But how do we do so in a culture that warns us that we risk our very worth as a human if we stop to catch our breath? Sidenote, I’m not saying that as a fact, I’m simply repeating the messages we receive on a daily basis from the media and our culture at large. The answer is tough but necessary. We choose patience, we choose to step back, to take full and complete breaths. And to reject the idea that things don’t get done unless we rush at and through them. We choose patience for ourselves and those we love. For the times we don’t get it right and the times obstacles show up. And we choose to forgive ourselves when we default to the rush because it’s easier to do what we need to do to keep up with the crowd and fit in. Patience is a mindset as much as it is an emotional state. It’s a value and a way of being. Most importantly, it’s really important to note that you can be working hard and be patient. You can be following your dreams and be patient. You can be healing and be patient. You can be patient in all the roles you play daily, partner, parent, child, sibling, friend, colleague, teammate. Patience is a way of approaching life, not an emotion you have to rely on showing up every day. It’s a choice.

So here are three steps I want you to take with you when it comes to choosing patience. Give up the rush. Get conscious, become aware of racing thoughts and racing actions. Make a choice to give up the rush for a period of time. Start small first. Perhaps you commit to changing the way you drive on the way should work. Perhaps you will give yourself one day in the week where you get mindfully productive. Committing to single tasking and getting done what gets done without trying to do a million things at once. Lose time, get radical, and take your watch off for a day. You don’t have to check the time every five minutes to know what you need to be doing next. And finally, have faith. Trust that life is happening as it needs to unfold right now. Trust yourself to do what you need to do to be able to create the life you want to be living without compromising your well being in the process. Rushing those things won’t help you be happier. But you’ll certainly be happy when things happen and you’re already thriving by the time they do.

I hope this episode on patience has been helpful to allow you to catch your breath lovely one. If you want to explore more. I’ve got some great free resources over at that’s F R E E, feel free to dive in. And I’ll catch you very shortly for the next episode of Hello Rebecca Ray.

Lovely ones. Thank you so much for listening to Hello, Rebecca Ray. If you got something meaningful from this episode, then the most meaningful thing you can do is jump on over to wherever you listen to your podcast episodes and leave a review. Because it’s those reviews that help this podcast stay here. Make sure to subscribe, and if you’re generous enough to share this episode, thank you so much. I love seeing your shares on social media so please tag me, catch you next time.