Hi, lovely ones. Welcome to episode number 33. You don’t need a lucky break. I’m going to tell you a story about a client I saw some years ago who was searching for her lucky break. We’ll call her Olivia.
And if you’re someone who has been waiting for the perfect time, or the perfect sign, or a lightning bolt in the form of some kind of lucky break, before you can take the leap to start your business, then this episode is a must listen for you.
But before we dive into talking about Olivia, I want to shout out Mariah Mae who left a review after listening to the podcast, she says:
“Dr Rebecca Ray gives the most comforting yet direct advice out of anyone I know she’s a breath of fresh air, especially in the entrepreneurial space. Because she’s honest, open and encourages you to keep moving with grace and acceptance. This podcast is one of my favourites, and I can’t wait for new episodes every week.”
Thank you so much Mariah, this is the most beautiful review. Reviews make a huge difference to podcasts reaching more people.
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Now, let’s chat about Olivia. Olivia was 34 years old when she began seeing me, I remember that she had these amazing bright green eyes that Shawn with the intention of really wanting to do something meaningful in the world, she was saying may not fit any kind of formal diagnosis.
So I didn’t pick up on symptoms within her presentation, that would mean that she had an anxiety disorder or a depressive disorder. And she was saying me for what I describe as a sense of existential dread, you know, the unsettling feeling that life was passing her by and she was missing out on her chance to live bravely and meaningfully and perhaps more importantly, on her own terms.
Olivia is a primary school teacher. She’d been a primary school teacher for, I think five years at this stage. And while she loved teaching, and she especially loved the kids, I think at the time that I saw her, she was teaching grade two.
So the kids were about seven. She was burnt out from a never ending administrative pressures and demands placed on her. So I remember her telling me that the actual act of teaching had become the thing that she actually did least in her job, the majority of it was navigating red tape and people.
And she found that incredibly exhausting. And then there was the little fact that Olivia had dreams of starting her own business. She had created a set of really innovative resources for children who had reading difficulties based on a lifelong passion of encouraging literacy in kids.
She knew it had potential. And yet, in this particular year that I saw Olivia, here she was staring down term for when she’d actually promised herself that she’d leave teaching before that you had even begun.
That was weighing heavily on her.
But Olivia didn’t lack of ideas. She didn’t lack motivation. She didn’t lack skill. She didn’t even lack an audience for her products given her day job. And that’s the one thing that most entrepreneurs struggle with at the outset.
Yes, she lacked time. But with what time she had available, she’d still managed to avoid launching her products. They sat on her computer, her audience, the kids that could potentially benefit from these resources didn’t even know they existed.
The parents who could help their kids benefit from these resources didn’t know that they existed. Olivia told me that she was waiting for the right time to set up her website.
And she also told me that she was waiting for the final straw that would tell her that she should leave teaching and go all in to launch her business. And she was also waiting for some kind of lucky break.
The thing she assumed other entrepreneurs had found, but she had yet to land on what kind of lucky break, you might ask a good question, because I asked exactly the same thing. As examples of lucky breaks, Olivia told me that she had a friend who had been offered a publishing deal for a set of mathematics books for children.
She also followed a teacher on Instagram who had just announced that they were collaborating with a large supermarket chain to release a range of healthy snacks for children.
And the final lucky break, Olivia described was less a lucky break story and more an assumption about overnight success for others.
She said, I don’t know it just feels like everyone else has cracked a lucky break that I’ve been overlooked for. As you listen to this lovely one, I know you probably already know where this is headed.
But because we are all vulnerable to believing that glittery social media, we’re the rags to riches stories, I want to remind you of this very clearly, your success is not dependent on luck.
Furthermore, if you keep waiting until your lucky break, or the right time, or a perfect sign, you might be waiting forever.
I don’t want you to wait that long. And you know that overnight success story that belongs to that person that you follow on Instagram that you look up to?
Well, what you probably haven’t seen is the years of chipping away at their craft or product, failing over and over again and refining over and over again, trying time and again and being rejected time and again.
And eventually just being around long enough to create connections that lead to collaborations and publishing deals. You know, the thing is, Olivia didn’t need luck. She just needed to bet on herself.
You don’t need luck. You just need to give yourself a chance.
And then another chance. And then another one, until the chain of tiny consistent actions in the direction of the life that you want to create actually becomes the life you’re living.
Olivia didn’t love this answer. I’ve got to be fully transparent with you. Sometimes the things that I say, when I’m doing therapy or coaching with people are not the things that they love to hear in any In fact, she resisted this answer so much that we talked around in circles for a couple of more sessions.
And I didn’t see her again until a year later. So 12 months down the track, she sat down across from me and said:
I’m sick of being defined by my comfort zone. Fear is the thing that is stopping me from helping kids read.
I remember this moment, it was incredibly powerful. And the thing is what Olivia had realised Is that another year had gone past she had still taken no action to launch her products and the lack of action.
The lack of bashing on herself was actually stopping her from making a huge impact on the world in the direction of the thing that she was most passionate about.
What she had done at this point, was finally stopped looking outside herself for the thing that was apparently going to get her started and instead started looking within at the blocks that were holding her back.
I’m pretty proud to say that Olivia now runs an incredibly successful and more importantly fulfilling business that has changed so many kids lives and their parents as well. And it wasn’t luck that got her there. It wasn’t timing or signs either.
It was her willingness to accept that fee shows up whenever courage is present and you can’t have one without the other. And it was her choice to bet on herself even while she was afraid.
So lovely one I want to leave you with this.
- What would be possible if you gave yourself permission to bet on yourself?
- What would be possible if you gave yourself a chance?
- What would be possible if you did the thing, you know, the thing that you’ve been putting off the thing that you dream of doing?
- The opportunity that you dream of jumping on the business that you want to start or expand or scale?
- What would be possible if you did it, even while fear was along for the ride?
Because this is where the magic happens.
This is where you understand that it’s not about luck at all. It’s about tiny, consistent choices and actions in the direction of doing the thing. So it has a chance to come to life. Are you going to bet on yourself, Lovely on?
I hope so. Because I’d bet on you. And if you want to explore more about fear, I’ve got a whole stack of resources that you can check out at Rebecca ray.com.au/free.
I can’t wait to catch you for our next episode on Hello, Rebecca Ray. Lovely ones. Thank you so much for listening to Hello, Rebecca Ray.
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