The episode that you’re about to tune into is with a participant of my flagship program Intentional Business, the experience for women entrepreneurs. This episode will give you a feel for exactly what Intentional Business mentoring sounds like, feels like, what it’s like to experience this transformation firsthand. And if it sounds like you, I’d love to see you in round two of Intentional Business.
And if it sounds like you, I’d love to see you in round two of Intentional Business. Just go to rebeccaray.com.au/Intentional-Business, I’d love to see you in the program.
Lovely ones, I’m so excited to introduce you to one of the participants in the first round of my flagship program intentional business, Lori Curran. Lori is the founder of The Humble Nook.
The Humble Nook was born from a simple concept that when we sit with ourselves, be it on the massage table in a yoga class or practice mindfulness, we are tapping into a space.
It is within this space, we connect yourself and realise we are whole. Lori helps people be they young or young at heart adults to feel less overwhelmed, more self aware and more connected.
She supports her clients through a variety of body-based practices, including remedial massage, functional movement, cymatics, and mindfulness-based practices. And I can’t be happier to be sharing the next however long we chat for with you, Lori, it is such a pleasure to be able to have someone on one time. Thank you for coming on the show.
Lori: You’re very welcome. It’s really exciting to be here.
Rebecca: So what I want to do in these episodes for listeners is to give them a chance to feel what intentional business mentoring sounds like. So I’m going to press buttons today. I might be gentle. I might not. But I know.
Lori: I think buttons have been pushed Throughout the course.
Rebecca: Yeah, yeah. You know, you know how it works. And I know you’re up for it. So I want to start by asking you, what are the mindset struggles that are coming up for you at the moment that you want to discuss today?
Lori: I feel like overall with the biggest mindset struggle is a combination of, of showing up to, to the business and, and showing up in a way where when you’re supporting people with their needs, and maybe you have to support yourself with your needs and not feeling like a failure. If you can’t, if you’re working through your own stuff, but still showing up for for your for your clients. Yeah, right.
Rebecca: So are you talking about having only so much energy in a day that can be distributed outside of yourself because of your own needs as well?
Lori: Yeah, I guess there’s the just the I don’t know how, I don’t know how to word this. It’s just the just the ability to show up. Sorry, Beck
Rebecca: Don’t apologise! Take all the time that you need to figure it out. Because sometimes with these experiences, especially when they happen from a place of self-protection, they’re actually not clearly within our awareness and therefore we don’t have words for them easily.
Lori: Yeah, like, I think when starting international business, my my biggest block was just showing up. Yeah, and it was just like I felt overwhelmed by the, you know, am I am I good enough to show Am I good enough to be in this course. Am I am I worthy enough to be in this course.
Lori: And I think some of that has Some of that has shifted. And now it’s more about as I move through the course. Am I am I showing up for myself as much as am I? am I showing up for my clients?
Lori: Potentially time is a big mindset block. And I think if I write everything down that I do in a day, I have enough time, but then sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.
Rebecca: So can you explain to me how you would like to be showing up that you’re not currently doing?
Lori: I think this has come up in Intentional Business, and it’s definitely something that’s just been, I’m more aware of, is creating more whitespace. And so that’s actually not about, I don’t think it’s about showing up, it’s about it’s almost about doing less. So instead of instead of moving from one thing in the day, to another thing, it’s about having more space, that would be in an ideal world.
Lori: And, and I know that that might be in a fantasy world, because I do that, too. I love I love what I do. So it’s just like, I try to get the most out of out of a day. And, and I’m an active parent.
Lori: So it’s you know, to, to switch between work mode to parent mode, it’s just like, I want to be there for those for those things. And then I’m also an active person. And movement truly is my medicine. So to make sure that I’ve got that time to move each day is is really valuable for me.
Lori: So I think when I look at it from like from an overall 24 hours in one day, I could be really methodical about it. It’s just like, well, this is when I’m doing this. But it’s more about, I think softening those lines between the two, and just creating a little bit more space.
Rebecca: So going for flexibility rather than rigidity. When we talk about whitespace, just for the listeners, in intentional business, we talk about whitespace as cultivating time in your calendar that’s actually not scheduled so that there is space when things crop up, but also said that there’s space that you can just do whatever you feel like doing at that particular time.
Rebecca: And when you have a very busy schedule like you do, Lori, sometimes that’s not it’s not all that easy to come across. And I totally understand your comment of perhaps this is a Fantasyland to kind of dream about this whitespace. But I also understand that you’re coming from a place where you want your time to be used mindfully and not from a place of hustle.
Lori: Yeah. And that is that is a really massive one because I’ve I’ve never been a fan of the word hustle in either. And I remember listening to one of your podcast and you were talking about shifting from hustle to ease and flow. And yeah, I totally just high five for myself, because I was just like good investment, good investment you just made there.
Lori: Because you and I’m really, I guess I’m really conscious about this, because I’m doing two trainings. So one in business, because I think it’s really I felt that I was really in need of what you’re offering. And I’m doing another training with a with a yoga teacher, who is who really also speaks my language.
Lori: And I’m really conscious that it’s that I’ve chosen people that speak my language. And sometimes that may be that might not be what you need to hear. But when I say I gave myself that high five, it’s because I truly did.
Lori: I resonated with what you said and have a lot of friends in an independent business. And the idea that it’s just like that we have to be busy all the time and that we have to hustle is not something that I’m is not something I’m about so I guess probably the biggest mind block is that as we’re sort of fleshing this out, is What I practice in clinic, what I practice and what I try to practice in life, when sometimes that doesn’t go in that flow, and sometimes it is a little bit routine and rigid. And sometimes there is not a lot of space, that I’m still trying to embody that. And I’m still working on that. And that I even though I haven’t, I’m doing air quotes, everyone perfected that
Rebecca: I’m a fan of air quotes.
Lori: I use them more often than not lately. That it’s just that it’s still that is a practice. And, and that I’m still practising that. And it’s so
Rebecca: Interesting that you say that because my response to just even the furrowing if your brow just then when you were thinking about the transition of what you preach in with clients versus what you practice in daily life, I can see how important it is to you to walk the talk.
Rebecca: But isn’t that the practice? Isn’t that the practice that you hit? You cross your own boundaries, you hit your own balls, and then you have to apply self-compassion to be able to regroup and start again, in a way that’s aligned with your values all over again?
Lori: Yeah, yeah. And I like to, I often say, and I said it to myself, for years, I’ve got a 12 year old son, and through school holidays, it was really hard to do. You know, the movement practices or to get to a yoga class. And this was before my home practice was really solidified. And I would say I’ve just fallen off the mat.
Lori: But now I sort of tend to say, it’s in the noticing of falling off the map, and kind of back to the lack that is actually a part of the practice.
Rebecca: And it’s also not season specific. So if you’re talking about school holidays, or if you’re talking about even a time in your son’s life, where he might have been more demanding, because he was just less independent. Is that season specific? Are you able to apply that to? Well, this is just a busier season, and therefore there just isn’t as much space available for the time cultivated on the mat.
Lori: 110%, like 110%, and I’m a huge fan of seasons like seasons that. I feel that loss gives us seasons in the sense of, you know, the environment, and it will give us seasons, and we can tune into them. And we can find flow with them. Yeah. But then our life, our individual life will give us seasons. And how we move through that. is, you know, is it a? Is it going to flow? Like the seasons flow? Or is it going to be really awkwardly transitional?
Rebecca: I love that phrase, awkwardly transition. Oh, my God, I have had so many times in my life that I could describe as awkwardly transitional. Actually. You did that in a way that was awkwardly transitional.
Lori: I was laughing with a patient yesterday because we are in Melbourne. And Melbourne is notoriously known for its awkwardly transitional weather. Like you get it all in one day.
Lori: And, and I think acknowledging that so it’s, you know, in those first, yeah, in those first few years of parenting, you, maybe you are, but maybe you’re not going to get those 90 minutes or 60 minutes on the mat. And, and I think acknowledging that is is something and it’s just that and, and and and I don’t say this lightly, but it’s just like and accepting. accepting that, because it’s a big one to study just be like, Whoa, this is where I’m at.
Rebecca: Can we talk about what it looks like when you don’t accept it? So if you’re in a particular season, right now, is think about how you would describe the season that you’re in right now. And then can you explain to me what it’s like when you step in?
Rebecca: Into a place of non-acceptance, which we might call resistance. I’m a big I’m, I’m, you know, PhD level expert at resistance. I do it really well. In fact, I think, but I’m probably the person that gets in my own way the most, which really fucking pisses me off.
Rebecca: But it’s also one of those things where when you come to a place where you know that about yourself that you’re hitting new levels of growth all the time, and therefore that set of resistance is coming up, because you have a hit have hit a new level of growth. That’s just part of the journey. But what does this season look like for you? And what does it look like when you’re not accepting it?
Lori: So I’ll go I’ll go two ways and come back to International Business. Okay, when I was at the very beginning, yep. And I’d I booked intentional business. And I was like, Okay, let’s work out how I can get this in my calendar. And there was just, there was a few days at the very beginning, that that just didn’t feel that didn’t fit that didn’t fit in with a schedule. I feel like I’m incredibly loyal to, to my clients.
Lori: So I was just like, let’s keep the calendar as it is, let’s put everything else in those dates. And so I missed, I think it was like, two, three, possibly sessions. And from that mindset perspective, I was just like, you’re a failure, you just, you failed from the very beginning, you haven’t met anyone, look at these people writing in the Facebook group is so much better than you’ve already like, and it was just like this negative self-talk, person, like on my shoulder, my cell phone, my shoulder. And, and they they started to really tell me why I didn’t deserve to be in that group. Fast forward to now and I truly.
Rebecca: Hold on. Can I just stop you there? When they were telling you that they that you didn’t deserve to be in the group? Did you believe them? Yeah. And by they were talking about kind of disembodied voices in Lori’s head. We’re not talking about actual people telling Lori that she wasn’t belonging in the group. But when you heard that negative chatter, did you believe it at that time?
Lori: Absolutely. And this was pre watching those negative voices that you talk about in International Business. So for me, it was just it was this one person who was a miniature version of myself sitting on my shoulder. I’m pretty sure she was fabulously dressed.
Lori: But I did, I was just like, I totally was just like, yeah, like, what are you doing, you don’t actually have enough time to do this costs. This is a lot of investment. And, you know, just from the sense of the time that the course required, it was just like, there was something each week, I’m like, What are you doing?
Lori: Like, what are you doing? And then is and I say the word investment? Because there is a financial investment involved And I was just like, is this really where you should be spending your money at the moment? And in full disclosure, were really, really wanting to get a dog.
Lori: And he was like, Oh, is this what you should be doing? At the time, Melbourne had just been put into snap lockdown. So there were lots of things in a space of, of almost telling me that I’ve made the wrong choice.
Lori: And which I now know, to be one of these voices that we talk about any intentional business and almost a little bit of a protective self. Just saying, We’re the clinics are actually really good. So why do you need to try something else?
Rebecca: Why do you need to try to grow further or grow in a different way when what you’re doing right now is fine?
Lori: Also that why do you need to put yourself out there because when you put yourself out there maybe we’ll be an imposter. Because sometimes, like I sometimes we don’t walk the talk and sometimes we can miss a practice.
Lori: And sometimes it, it just isn’t perfect. And I think that that model of what we see particularly in the wellness industry is that it has to be perfect. And it’s just, but what I’m learning, and along my journey of life and through intentional business and meeting all the wonderful humans in that group is that we’re actually just human. Like, we’re just, we’re doing the best we can.
Lori: So to go to where I am now, seasonally, I would definitely say I mean, my autumn, which is really lovely, because it can be a really challenging place to be. So I, for everyone listening, I reached out to Beck. And in my head, I was just like, I’m just gonna message her and say that I haven’t locked into anything and maybe I am maybe I just snap decision, which I did not snap decision, I sat on this for like, two months, I was given a heads up that Beck would be doing this intentional business course.
Lori: And so it wasn’t a snap decision, but there was part of my protective self that was just like doesn’t messager and does maybe say that, it’s not for you, and you understand and, and you just take it as a loss. And then my inner leader was just like, Lori. Just stop, just send an email, and to say that you’ve had things on and you’re just really trying to get into the course.
Lori: And the email that I got back from you was really supportive and really take your time and see what happens. There’s no rush, there’s no pressure. And it it was what I needed to hear. And then the universe works in really wonderful ways. And, and I truly, truly believe that, and I know it sounds a little bit woowoo.
Lori: I live in the way where I’m more than happy to say I just started last year, and everyone said, How did you go in lockdown, and it was just like, I started drinking, like powdered mushrooms. And I was just like, Hey, I just like magic kind of thing. For discloser not magic mushrooms!
Rebecca: Not literally not literally!!
Lori: They have this, like, you know, they just have this just a different balance for their body. So it’s just like, I’m all willing to, you know, disclose that. Yeah, sometimes I don’t think that all the things I do are woowoo.
Lori: Sometimes a lot of people are like, that’s pretty weird. But the universe really did show up. And all those days that there was an Intentional Business there had been marked in my calendar.
Lori: I was like, okay, can’t make that one has to make it up this way. And let’s do this. People started to move their appointments. And things just started to happen. And I don’t know if it was just like I was leaving my podcast out.
Lori: You know, my phone open, but it was just, you know, my son started talking about Rebecca Ray, and I don’t, you know, it was it was just things just started to shift. And so,
Rebecca: So basically, space was made in your life, friend, and business when you least expected it.
Lori: Yeah. And when it just, it just started to work. So within that opportunity of me emailing you, and all this started to happen. I was given almost an opportunity to ground back down into my body.
Lori: And to I’m a big fan of journaling to journal about. So when I said that I don’t think that this course cost anything. And I’m really mindful of that word. I actually do say it is an investment. Because the investment that I made in my business in myself in my time, they are all investments.
Rebecca: How have those things contributed to the season that you’re in now then? And what’s your relationship like with those voices that were protective? But very loud back then.
Lori: So it gave me the chance to I’m going to say it, we came together and I wrote it down about what it was. that drew me to you what it was that made me make the choice. And then it came back to the centre.
Lori: And when I first came back to centre for me, but it also came back to centre for my clients. I want to, I want to offer them the most that I can offer as one person. And I believe that you are the person that can help me allow that to grow.
Lori: So for me to be an author now, it’s, it’s actually, it’s not, it’s not letting go of those voices. But it’s letting go. of, of maybe like, like the the banners that they’re holding about my worthiness, so that I can move into into the next phase into the next season.
Rebecca: It’s like a different way of honouring them. So still recognise that they’re there, they’re still allowed to have a say you’re not trying to get rid of them. But you’re not engaging in a ride with them and believing everything that they say all the time.
Lori: Yes, and I put it really seasonally. It’s like taking everything that they’ve said, and letting it go, like, leaves falling to the ground to the tree, and saying
Lori: I’m taking all the lessons that you’ve taught me, because it wasn’t the first time these voices have shown up. And taking all these lessons that you’ve taught me, and you’re going to be the nutrients for the next cycle.
Rebecca: My god, I love that so much.
Lori: And that was that’s a that’s a learning from, from a lot of from from not a lot, but from my teachers who work more in five element theory and meridian theory and really flowing with the the cyclical nature that we have. And you asked, What is it? What is it like, when you’re not in flow?
Rebecca: Yeah, when you’re in resistance, what’s that, like?
Lori: I often liken it to it’s like a seed trying to grow through summit. It just, it’s it’s just hard. And it often feels like you’re banging your head against a brick wall.
Rebecca: Yeah, that there’s that really stifling element where no matter how hard you try, you can’t breakthrough. You’re just you’re literally contracted your experience is contracted.
Lori: Yeah. And, and but the, the ease and flow that you’re talking about, it’s just like if, if you’re forcing it, that’s just like you might potentially just be using energy in the wrong area. as well. There’s no flow to it.
Rebecca: Yeah. So it’s your season of life, autumn or your season, a season of business autumn or both?
Lori: Oh, that’s a goodie. I would say that. I feel in life we more so in autumn. I feel that after we got back from our summer break, and there was definitely a lot happening.
Lori: There was a lot of newness. And especially after Melbourne and being knocked down, it was just that there was a very different energy. It was almost like spring happened in summer and then summer happened in late summer.
Lori: But that business after the summer holidays. I feel that we’re really consciously between our household. My son and I just tried to draw it back and it’s just like we’ve just had a cold snap. And I think that has been our like acknowledgement.
Lori: It’s just like, well, let’s draw it draw ourselves in a little bit, let’s start to see where our energy, our energy goes. And, and also like that idea of, you know, when we’re in a different season of life, it’s, you know, when we move into our auto things like our self care kind of have to get amped up, because when you, I think when you’re in your summer of loss, it really becomes it’s, it’s, it’s a lot of it’s a lot of energy. And you just have that abundance of energy.
Rebecca: There’s, there’s also harvesting I think, like there’s, you’re taking from it rather than cultivating the seeds.
Lori: Yeah. And as for the business, I, I truly feel that there’s lots of juiciness happening at the moment. And I feel that there is that, yeah, that autonomy sort of grounding. Energy happening, and there’s little seeds slowly starting to get planted for the winter.
Rebecca: I love that so much. So what about the white space, then, if you’re acknowledging that there is juiciness there are seeds that are being planted in preparation for the seasons to come? Where in your life and business right now? Is there space for space? gave yourself permission?
Lori: This is this is a massive, massive one. And it has definitely, I Oh, I almost know, sometimes when you read something online and sort of psyche just gets slapped in the face, just like that was to you?
Lori: Yes, I read the other day that I was along the lines of like, like, Don’t confuse somebody is whitespace for availability. And, and he goes, so it’s just like, here’s an here’s another little block that I’ve been working on, and it keeps coming back to his boundaries. And, and sometimes the, for me, for me in business for me in life, it’s I, I chose to be an active parent, you know, I want you know, I want to be involved.
Rebecca: And I argue that’s a choice you keep making. So you don’t just choose that once. That’s a choice you make on a daily basis. Oh, yeah.
Lori: Yep. And I’m full disclosure, I think everyone is an active parent. But when I say active, you know, I’m involved in my son’s sport. I was involved in his school and an all committees of his school last year, and we’re still tying up some loose ends.
Lori: So honouring whitespaces is a practice for me, because I have definitely gone from the calendar laid out from like, move in the morning, have breakfast, drop off at school, go to work, pick up, have dinner bath, you know, and it’s been very, like, this is how we’re doing it.
Lori: Now, and also, as he moves through life, as he’s getting a little bit older, we’re really starting to see the value of spaciousness and spontaneity. Because I do think they go hand in hand. Yeah, as well. It’s very hard to be spontaneous. If there’s no time for it. Mm hmm.
Lori: Yeah. And but then also keeping space but not saying yes to everything. Which I think is really important and I have a tendency to be a bit of a people pleaser. So I sometimes do say yes to things or I do shuffle my whitespace to to help others. I am really trying and practising and doing My best and my best without perfection, to just set aside time for nothing.
Lori: So an example of this is I’ve got Friday off, but I was meant to be teaching, I was meant to be starting a six week program in schools, but we’re not having from what I can tell if some states have decided to not have a public holiday on Monday. And some states are. And Victoria is one of those states. That is not right. All right, from what I can tell, a few schools have decided to take the Friday off.
Rebecca: Just in case listeners are listening to when this episode is released and thinking Holy shit, what’s the public holiday on Monday? We’re recording this in April, and we’re actually talking about the Anzac Day public holiday in Australia.
Lori: So, um, so the schools just pushed back the program, which means that I have Friday off nine. Yeah. And it’s just like, and my, to be honest, even my I mean, my six months ago, self couldn’t plan anything because we’re in lockdown. But But my previous self would have been like, well, what can I do? As instead, I’ve just left the day. And I’ve gone? Well, let’s see what happens.
Rebecca: I love it. So you’re actually already doing it. The mindset block that you said at the beginning of the episode was showing up for you is actually you’re already being integrated into your conscious practice of how you want things to be in your life, the type of business that you want to run, the type of life that you want to leave this integration is already happening.
Lori: Yep. And yes, yeah. And truly is happening. As in like that, I’m going to sign up for Intentional Business. Like, you’re not good enough, this dance that I did with those, you know, inner voices was a dance that I’ve been doing.
Lori: And I feel like coming into intentional business, has just in the, in the best way, sort of put a little bit of a fast forward and not had not even a fast forward. It was just like, I actually think it was, you know, in the second or third meet up that we’re all chatting.
Lori: And there was a sense of awe, oh, like, these people have the same struggles as me. And this emotional community. Yeah, yeah. And it’s just like, and they’re still they’re still doing their thing. So is it is sort of it validated that it’s actually okay. To feel what I was feeling. Yeah, it’s probably the best way of saying it.
Rebecca: I love that. I love this so much. I want to end this episode, Lori, with my favourite words from you, which I will actually take with me for the rest of my life. And it’s rare for me to hear a sentence that I then roll around in my head almost daily after that, but you said at the beginning of Intentional Business, maybe not the beginning.
Rebecca: Maybe it was a maybe it was at least a month in. But you said a sentence that really held the group i think i think it impacted every single person in the group. And do you remember what that sentence was? By any chance?
Lori: I do. I hope it was this.
Rebecca: Better in your words, in your words, and your voice in mind? If you don’t if it’s wrong, I’ll go Yeah, love that sentence, too.
Lori: We can pretend we can pretend
Rebecca: Oh, that was so good.
Lori: I do believe it was it we were in an implementation session, which I am actually just gonna say for anyone who is working in, in a business, one of the best things that you can ever do is actually just carve time to work on your business and to if you have friends, if you have colleagues that you can do this with it actually does.
Lori: It makes it so much easier to say hey, we’re all meeting when meeting online and we can work on our business together and separately back together.
Rebecca: So that’s when the implementation session. Yeah, listeners in Intentional Business. We spend a couple of hours together where we it’s like an online co working space.
Rebecca: It’s designed that session is designed for you to be able to ask questions to me because I’m there as well for the whole time but also should be able to literally put in your calendar that this is a time when you’re doing the work on your business. During that time you said this sentence,
Lori: Meet yourself with where you’re at.
Rebecca: Meet yourself with where you’re at. And the power in those words, for anyone thinking about taking the leap into their own business, or currently in the start-up stages of their own business and experiencing the loudness of those inner voices that say, holy shit, what are you doing, it would just be so much easier if you went and got a job.
Rebecca: Or if you weren’t trying to move outside your comfort zone, those words are permission to not only provide yourself with the nurturing that you need at that point in time to speak to yourself in a different way to be able to apply a compassionate stance or compassionate perspective to your own experience.
Rebecca: But they’re also permission to be able to move forward from that place without being perfect. And without being further ahead than where you are than where you actually are. Because I think one of the things that people struggle with in business so much is comparison and looking outside their own lane to go, that person is doing that I should be further ahead. I should be doing this, I should be doing that. Meet yourself, wait with where you’re at is, is the work.
Rebecca: It’s the work of being able to show up to you today with what you’ve got available to offer yourself, other people and the world. And do just do that. I love it. Thank you so much. For those words. I will carry them with me for the rest of my life. I’m sure of it. And I’m sure listeners will love them as well. Lori, thank you so much for your time today. I have loved chatting with you as always because I love how deep our two-hour chats go. Where can listeners find you?
Rebecca: Brilliant. Thank you so much for being with us today. Lori, and thank you so much for being a part of Intentional Business.
Lori: You’re most welcome. I absolutely love it.
Rebecca: Lovely ones. I hope you enjoyed that episode as much as I did. If intentional business mentoring sounds like you if it sounds like exactly the thing that you need. I would love to see you in round two of my program intentional business, the experience for women entrepreneurs, you can sign up at Rebeccaray.com.au/intentional-business.
Rebecca: Lovely ones. Thank you so much for listening to Hello, Rebecca Ray. If you’ve got something meaningful from this episode, and the most meaningful thing you can do is jump on over to wherever you listen to your podcast episodes and leave a review. Because it’s those reviews that help this podcast stay here. Make sure to subscribe.
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